It's no secret that I've been struggling lately getting through my day to day. It's due to a new situation in my life and even though I can pin point the source of this anxiety...it doesn't change the situation. Today's post is not one offering any advice...(sorry!), I'm actually asking for your help. I'm sure you all are a lot better at coping with difficult personalities than I am. I'm more of the yeller and complainer. Unfortunately, despite all of my venting sessions, my situation has remained unchanged. So the purpose of today's post is....How do you deal with difficult people? What skills do you use when all you want to do is walk away and no longer deal with them?
I'm someone who definitely believes in karma. I don't have to "ruin" this person's life. When you have a bad personality, trust me, people will take notice. But until people take notice, what do you do?
Here are some of the things I'm upset about...
1. Abuse. I feel like I'm being mentally abused. I'm a total Type A personality and I give 100% of myself and I don't want anything to get messed up or be left behind. But being a Type A to different people isn't always an equal situation. Meaning....you can give 100% of yourself to the most appreciative person in the world and the person will be so grateful to have you in their life and you'll continue to feel good about yourself. Or...you can give 100% of yourself to someone who still doesn't think 100% is good enough and they'll just take take take. There's no balanced relationship. No feeling good after doing something good for someone else. You just end up feeling unappreciated, mentally exhausted, and most times...disrespected. This is how I feel. For the past 3 months, I think everything I do isn't good enough, people are taking advantage of me, and I can never be fulfilled. Yea, this really isn't a good feeling to have. I hope no one else feels this way, but I know I'm not alone. How do you change this attitude around? How do you begin to realize that the situation isn't normal and you're not the problem...they are? How to you take control over your bad attitude?
2. Guilt. For some crazy reason, I always feel guilty and bad for being "not good enough". I know it sounds nutty because as I've said, the situation isn't "normal" but for some odd reason, I always feel guilty. How can I improve? How can I make his better? I also feel guilty for continuously venting to my friends. I love being a happy person. I don't want to be the person my friends are like. "crap, she's coming over to spill her heart out again..."
3. Paranoia. I'm just going to put this out there. I'm paranoid. Maybe I've been venting too much or maybe I'm scared that people are going to see how unhappy I am and it's going to cause more problems for me in the future. I don't know but this cycle of paranoia and guilt is getting pretty old. I tend to overthink everything and I'm definitely feeling "on edge". I feel like the little hairs on the back of my neck are always up. It's not a good feeling and most times it's truly exhausting. I always say that it's so much more hard work being miserable than it is being happy. But I'm still concerned....when does venting become too much? (PS- some of the crap I've had to deal with is wild...I can start a blog just on my real life stores!) When do you tell yourself, enough is enough?
4. Misery. I hate being miserable. I truly do. I hate complaining day in and day out. How do I change this? Once you have this bad attitude and you're depressed, how do you change it around? How to you become happy again?
This is what I know as of right now, I think in the New Year, I need more balance. I'm focusing less on work and more on me. I need to be a little more selfish when it comes to self-preservation. There's only one issue...how do I make this happen?